Today I've felt a sense of clarity for several reasons:

i) I have realized my Macbook has in fact not shattered internally, the battery just won't charge. I have in fact wasted several (many) hours mourning what I thought was gone forever but as I type this I emit a sigh of relief. Forget my lecture notes and research essays - do you know how many photos of neon hair I have on this thing? Enough to make people with naturally coloured locks genuinely frightened. But no, I'm actually very grateful it isn't trivial, or else I would be stuck on a wonky 1997 Windows PC (can you say D:) for the remainder of the summer. Let's just say things would not be a slice of cherry fucking cheese cake.

ii) I was in New York City for the first 6 days of April and I've decided I'm going to try and move there after I finish school if everything falls into place. I know the typical claim with New York is that it's pleasant to visit and lingering for too long will result in this perpetual overwhelmingly claustrophobia and intense craving to distance yourself away from it's habitual hectic activity. Yet I feel nostalgic whenever anyone mentions it, like I'm missing a limb and they only place I can get it back and use it is when I'm in the city. I mean, when our bus drove over the bridge and that panoramic landscape came into view, the plethora of lights consuming every inch of my vision, I felt my heart float and my eyes water. And I don't care how cheesy I sound! I remember watching a documentary on the philosopher/poet/NYC tourist guide Speed Levitch a year or so ago and being mesmerized by his relationship with the city. After it concluded I recall thinking "my hopes for the extravagance this city has to offer will always be unsurpassable". This is why as I sat in my bus seat on the way down I anticipated disappointment by the inevitable mediocrity of what I was about to experience. I mean, what we're fond of differs with each individual. It's all subjective. So naturally I thought Speed's adoration with this cornucopia of edifices and busy bee individuals on an island was based on his own subjective ideals, completely contradicting my own. Yet over the near week I spent there I discovered the city was all it was built up to be (a result of my own subjective ideals or general objective claims I've still yet to determine). Thus I find myself missing the island more each day. Guys, I would sit on a crammed bus with stale air for 11 hours one way like I did a few weeks ago just so I can see it again for a mere 24 hours. The anticipation for a next visit is killing me. Like it's literally gnawing at me.

....did I rant there? I think I ranted there. I almost forgot about this clip from the Speed Levitch documentary (entitled "The Cruise") I was gonna post back there before I ran off on a WTFHOLYSHIT tangent. Here he talks about his relationship with the city.

Ugh, embedding is disabled. Whatever guys CLICK HERE it's worth it, trust. Here's a quick quote from the beginning though if you suck and don't want to watch:

"New York City is a living organism; It evolves, it devolves, it fluctuates as a living organism. So my relationship with New York City is as vitriolic as the relationship with myself and with any other human being which means that it changes every millisecond, that it's in constant fluctuation."

Moreover, since my mac is back, here's an outfit I wore today. It was so hot out though :c. I need to realize spring is here and I can no longer layer so much D: Whatever I'll pretend like pit stains and profusely sweating is IN.

I started working around the bottom because it made me feel like a mermaid. Thought it would work best if I left out prints and just worked with pastels. And pink. Also I'm not going to lie I've been inclined to never take off this skirt because of the influence the cute little asian girl from two posts ago has had on me (the skirts are slightly similar. You know what that means? never taking it off, ever)

Everything is thrifted except for the pink skirt over top of the blue dress and under the apron, which is from H&M. Oh wait, the white lace blazer is from Courage My Love vintage in Kensington Market. :3

I seriously meant for this post to take only ten minutes, and alas it's taken me FORTY. Now I must get back to watching Annie Hall and drinking hot chocolate and pretending to sort through photographs for a project.