the clock strikes at twelve

I have worked for four days straight, waiting tables and serving ill-mannered customers with a fake smile on my face. I feel as if I have been smacked hard in the face when people treat me as if I were the dirt under the soles of their shoes. I wish I could say I acted the same, but I try too hard for my won good. My face muscles hurt from the smiling.

On a lighter note, I watched Cinderella the other day and have grown a little fascination with anything whimsical of the sort. Needless to say I was a bit ecstatic when I found this Annie Leibovitz picture. That dress brings tears to my eyes. Too perfect for words.....

i can't see straight anymore

getting home at five in the morning oblivious to your own whereabouts is not a proper way to spend your evenings. but then again, it is the last week of summer. it has to end sloppily.

Emma Bee Berstein (1985-2008)

we hope that you choke

i am feeling like fucking shit again. i want to be chris mccandless. i don't even care if i die in the process- i just want to live. i want to get out of this shitty little town and go LIVE MY LIFE. i am sorry about the lack of fashion, but picasso and his "weeping woman"  means so much more to me than clothes right now.....

everything comes to an end

reading all of these blogs of european people being back in school already is creating the comprehension of my own return to unfortunate educational facilities. as simple as my first semester is going to be (philosophy, fashion design and fine art) i know deep in my stomach that i am going to dread seeing the grey tiles and maroon lockers and revolting mandatory uniforms every day. i want to see bathing suits and picnic blankets and the glaring sun instead. 

post-concert depression

the radiohead concert was on friday as well. i feel like i'm depressed all over again thinking about it. i just want those two hours to last forever and ever. honestly, this played a pivotal role in my quest to lucid dream. i just need it back.

fly like a bird or run like a cheetah

i have been trying lucid dreaming for the past few days, and it hasn't worked out. but can you imagine? being able to control your dreams as to do anything you ever wanted. your dreams become a little world that you can do anything you would like in. almost as long as your conscious life, hours can be spent doing what ever your heart desires. that alone is worth living for.

i have also discovered lina scheynius' photography recently... perfection at it's finest.

it's been a while...

well, this outfit post is my first in quite a while. the pictures don't flatter the outfit very much, but i had very limited time. i also tried to get my little brother to be the photographer other than my barbeque on self timer for a change, and needless to reveal he found it a bit uncomfortable and left early, leaving me with a mere amount of photos to pick from. i really need a photographer. most of the outfit is from my mother's closet, by the way. it's ironic how she stashes the loveliest things away in the back of her closet. not that i'm complaining- she never notices when i snatch them away.

alternative form of pornography...lace

if you knew me, you would know that i am easily astonished by just about anything lace. i'm surprised there hasn't already been a post dedicated to the creation of lace. personally, i think any type of lace would suffice to my senses visually, but the most droolable by any extent would be white lace fabric. it is just so inexplicably perfect. unfortunately for myself, i haven't found a white lace dress yet, something i've been searching for for as long as i can think back. any way, this post is completely focused on praising lace via pictures of stylish women.

they Hammered the Soil asking for Answers in Green

this is what you get from a girl who can't sleep and is fanatically obsessing about david lynch and cinematography. it's three in the morning and my mind is working wonders but my body is aching and begging for some sort of break. four days in a row of inebriation takes a physical toll. but i'm going to go and force sleep, because it'll probably be the only amount i'll be getting in a while.

anyway, hope you enjoy the video. this is the closest to video blogging i might ever get.